Mildly Obese - chirp chirp

Every year as part of his benefits package at work, my husband and I are offered comprehensive physical exams. When I say comprehensive, that's what I mean! We are talking full body cat scans, pictures of our vocal cords, mammograms, blood work, hearing and vision screening, yada yada yada. It all takes about 6 hours and is done in one location, rather than running to all different doctors, so that is great.

This year I went and although I knew it, I didn't really ACCEPT the fact that I had gained 20 pounds in the last few years. The doctor, who I might add was tipping the scales at way over 300 pounds, labeled me "mildly obese". Can you believe it???? Mildy obese!!!! Now, my cardiovascular and other health was excellent, which is good. But that all pales in comparision to that one little line on their 10 page report of my health. - Mildy obese. According to them, a 5 foot 4" 40 year old woman should weigh 140 pounds. Well, I think I have alot of muscle and am big boned - they don't take important information like that into account - losers...

Now, although I sound outraged, I really find the label mildly obese doesn't bother me so much. I know that I want to lose weight, so now I have a little motivation.

Right after I met with the not-so-mildly obese doctor, they sent a dietician in for me to talk to. She was probably about 95 pounds dripping wet. This dietician asked if there was any reason that I believed I had had such a sudden weight gain - stress, lack of exercise, etc. I told her that I was feeling very frustrated because I have read several diet books this year about healthy eating and dieting. I have read all of the Dr. Oz books as well as the Bob Greene Best Life Diet book. Obviously just reading the books does nothing (even if you pay full price without the Barnes and Noble discount card). You actually have to DO stuff that it talks about in the book. That really sucks.

So in addition to reading about healthy eating, was there some psychological reason that I was gaining weight? Some sinister reason? Was I "eating my problems?" was I comforting myself with food?

No, I told skinny dietician girl. I know exactly what I was doing that made me gain weight so quickly.




I was EATING!

(And way too much I might add.)

I wouldn't have so much trouble if food didn't taste so damn good. I mean, who can resist those cute little girl scouts standing outside Walmart selling cookies? I can. But those cookies they are holding hostage for $3.50/ box of six????? Those I cannot resist. I explained to skinny dietician girl that I have eaten an entire box of caramel delights (over 1500 calories at least) in one sitting. Her eyes kind of bugged out of her head when I said that..... or maybe that is just what eyes do when there isn't enough fat around them.

Anywhoo... I told her that I was like a bulimic person. But I only do step one: binge. (No throwing up for me - I have enough body fluids to clean up in this house!)

At this point she showed me a plate with what size portions I SHOULD be eating at each meal. I took one look at her and asked her if I looked like my name was Tweety, or perhaps my name was Love, Cuckoo or Big.... because whoever ate portion sizes like that must be a BIRD!

So after giving it some thought, I have decided to go to an eat-like-a-bird (oops), I mean a lifestyle coach for 12 weeks. Fran is going to whip me into shape and show me how to eat healthier. I just read her whole web-site www.lifestyleconsulting.com and I think I lost a pound already.